File under: Things you weren't aware of about me

I own a bowling ball. Furthermore, it's been anointed in blood. How I ended up in possession of a bowling ball is somewhat interesting; the blood anointing really is not.

Back in high school, one of the few activities available to us, short of heading down to the city, was bowling. My friends and I did so fairly often, and in spite of this remained merely average bowlers (although we were consistently average, which counts for something, doesn't it?) My friend Mike's first date with his wife Emily, in fact, was a trip to the bowling alley.

So it was that toward the end of my senior year, I took my girlfriend and a couple of her friends bowling. As per tradition, we chose bowling names -- I was "Gink," Melissa was "Grace," Meridith was "Mer" and... I can't remember the name or nickname of our fourth -- and had a blast bowling poorly. I broke up with Melissa a little while later (and ended up dating her again later on, but that's another story) so this fun came to an end quickly, but it apparently made a big impression on the girls, for at my graduation party what should I receive but a gift certificate for my very own ball, courtesy of my bowling partners.

I settled on a dark blue irridescent ball, weight 10 lbs. -- yes, this is light, but it fits my bowling style. One of the first times I bowled with it (not with the girls who gave it to me, alas) I flung the ball in my usual hard manner, and when it came up out of the ball return, I noticed a little line of darkness in the thumb hole. Upon closer examination, I realized it was some sore of red liquid. Looking down at my thumb, I saw a slice about an eighth of an inch wide, just above my nail: I had stabbed myself with the nail of my middle finger as I released the ball!

My blood-annointed ball, along with the bowling shoes I stole from an alley in Fox River Grove, now sit in a bag in my closet, gathering dust in between my approximately yearly bowling treks. The next one will be coming up this Saturday, as we celebrate Phineas's birthday in the traditional manner.

Posted by Andrew Huff at December 9, 2003 02:55 PM