Further Advice

When meeting with prospective yes-men, be sure to give them the ultimate test: poisoned food. Provide them with a selection of dates and cheeses, and tell them that it may be poisoned. They must test it for you; they shouldn't worry, though, because antidote is ready at hand.

Watch the applicants as they pick they're poison, so to speak -- if they hesitate, they may be untrustworthy. If their eyes dart around, as if looking for an exit, have them executed immediately, as an example to the others. Those that choose both dates and cheese together are too eager -- be wary that they do not attempt to seize too much power for themselves.

Once your yes-men have been identified, have your name tattooed on their ass. Tell them it's part of your branding campaign; soon evey citizen will be wearing your name. This will show them who's boss, and they'll remember it every time they sit down. Hint at the possibility that other body parts may be tattooed at a later date, depending on their behavior.