July 15, 2003
Graphite and Gum
I finished a sketch in my sketchbook at lunch today, the first in a long time. Sure, I've done a little sketching here and there, but this was a full-on composed, shaded and detailed drawing, not just a bare outline. It felt really good.
I did it in my homemade sketchbook. It was a Christmas gift from Cinnamon in 1997, and she did most of the work to create it -- the paper selection (various hot- and cold-press papers for watercolor, charcoal, etc.) and cutting and some of the signature binding. I finished the signatures and made the cover, then she sewed the signatures together and I attached them to the cover. It's 9"x12" (my favorite sketchbook dimension) and about 176 pages, almost 2" thick.
It intimidated me for a long time -- still does, a little. The combination of different, high-quality papers was meant to give me a choice in what paper to use for each image, but I found myself somewhat paralyzed by the choice, whereas with a regular sketchbook I wouldn't have to think about it. The choice also caused the book to become non-linear; since I was working on different papers in different signatures throughout the book, a sketch from one day might be separated by 20-30 pages from the collage I did the next day. So it's sat mostly ignored, getting pulled out only occasionally for use.
I've been bringing it with me to work and lunch the last two weeks, trying to get back in a habit of drawing. It feels really good, but it's still hard to overcome the paper choice. Who would have thought such a simple decision could stymie artistic expression so?
Posted by Andrew Huff at July 15, 2003 02:40 PMFor me at least, it's the idea that a blank piece of paper is perfect. No smudges, no errors, no nothing. To attempt to create anything (drawing, poem, story) is to wreck the perfection in search of my own 'perfection'...gawd, that's a lot of pressure! No wonder I haven't written anything of value in ages.
Posted by: Roni at July 15, 2003 02:49 PMSee, though, a blank piece of paper *isn't* perfect! If you look closely, there are breaks in the fiber, thin spots, discolorations, fingerprints... the belief that a clean sheet of paper is perfection is an excuse from your subconscience telling you that your work isn't good enough. Don't buy it! If you're too worried about "destroying perfection" by writing on it, put a wrinkle or pencil smudge or something on the page just to knock it down a peg.
Posted by: Andrew at July 15, 2003 03:17 PMJust use something really messy to draw with, like conte crayon. I'm excited to hear that you're drawing! I understand your paralysis with choosing from high-quality papers...that means that not only do you have to pick the *right* paper, you have to draw the *right* drawing on it, the first time around. Intimidating. I usually stick with cheap(er) materials just to keep myself relaxed.
Posted by: Lacey at July 15, 2003 05:24 PMI don't have the problem with the paper, but am quite anal about my choice of pen. I have a few fountain pens I dearly love, but lost one and mistakenly replaced it with a fine point fountain pen. Blech. I hate fine point (esp. mechanical pencils).
So I guess having a tough time choosing the paper doesn't surprise me, I just approach my paralysis from a different direction.
Posted by: brian at July 16, 2003 03:56 PMSide note: I love mechanical pencils! But only to draw with. I use fountain pens a lot, too, but the kind that you have to dip in ink. I enjoy the messiness.
Posted by: Lacey at July 17, 2003 03:01 PM